Covered in rust. It’s hard to fly.
I remember when we were young. Still shiny and clear.
It was easy to fly and be pure.
Then the world’s tarnish came as we went out into it.
And it rained on us.
We are iron angels, black and red from the rust.
Coarse skinned from corrosion fuelled by our own blood, tears and the rain of the world.
We hit the ground. But we won’t break.
Rising again to wander the earth.
Because we are Iron Angels.
Making a living out of it sometimes you gotta slay the ones inside of you.
I’ve been using the attritive subterfuge strategies recently to let them wear each other out. But all those years of letting them duke it out…Has only made them stronger somehow.
But tomorrow I go off to face them. In a nurturing and open environment.
Who will flinch?
Who will crack?
Or will I successfully fire the glass cannon again?
Troubling times. Yet this hunger for a fight and confidence I’ll win…is all part of the pride of being…
A demon killer.
I miss her voice whispering in my ear.
Her soft chuckle. Her comforting voice.
Look here she says and gestures in directions tangent to my view.
“Turn quickly it’s coming.” She would say before the punchline.
We used to talk a lot.
Things got comfortable. She would wake me some days and talk to me all through breakfast, back when I thought malaysian mornings we’re cold. I would just mumble and grumble through the whole conversation.
Then when I got to college she used to whisper things only occasionally. Or on those long drives home we would just chat about idle things. The traffic. The weather you know that kinda stuff.
Then uni came and I had to wave goodbye to her. A huge chunk of me.
First year we talked rarely mostly when I was calm enough to listen.
Second year…She talked to me sometimes when I was drunk off my face.
Third year and I realise how much I miss her.
I need to go to the quiet places.
To hear her again.
With my glass and metal strapped firmly to my hand we’ll dance and hopefully we’ll understand each other again.
Ok it’s raining…Should I go?
If it’s above 10 haha I’ll go.
Oh wait. Let’s make it fun. Only if it’s 20 I’ll go.
I roll the dice.
………..
20
Alright. You’re the boss sir.
Weather coat on and a long walk through the rain.
Well at least the crowd is appreciative.
Trudging through the spritzing rain being careful to not lean on the left foot so water would come up the breach.
All the while listening to Hark the Herons.
And then Canadian Heart comes on.
And a message gets punched through.
Heh. I smirk. I already know who it is. And we both have a laugh. Cheeky.
Not for this week apparently.
I’ve been hired. Hmmm.
This is funny. Last time she hired me was May. And that was remotely.
I failed though so I had to leave the job.
Before that was April. And wow did she wear me thin. The glass cannon actually cracked.
But I’ve been hired again this week. Hmmm. Meh. Payment not decided upon.
I told him I’ve got 600 minutes hahaha.
A great killer for those lonely moments. Spent 45 minutes chatting about our dossiers and it felt great.
Even the chill of the air disappears as we’re both laughing red and hard weaving in and out of jokes and old tales.
Lining it up with fresh tales.
And swapping experiences.
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
And heard the effects.
Ran her hand through the water.
And heard the waves lapping on the shore.
I am afraid.
She knows my gold standard.
And how far I’ve fallen.
And I’m about to be measured.
“It feels like this year I’ve got so few friends. Like just Sonn and well you.”
Made me go awe. And chuckle when I woke up today. Hahaha thanks Van.
