“what are you doing tonight?”
“I’ve got a date. Why?”
“Wanna go out?”
“haha no I’d have to blow him off and that wouldn’t be very nice. What did you have planned?”
“Was about to ask you if you wanted to go eat fish?”
“But you hate fish? Have you grown a liking for it in your time away?”
“Once you hate fish you’ll always hate it but…it’s my way of saying I’m serious.”
“Haha alright fish it is fish it is. Come get me at half 6.”
Mid morning dreams of Elaine.
They wake me with a shattering thought.
Always brought back to lucid reality only to blink at the spinning fan above me.
Things…are vivid.
The disappointment is…harsh.
I’m still wandering around searching for her.
And yet still as the days go by I’m certain I’ll never even glimpse her shadow.
Nonetheless the realism of my slowly anchored expectations do not mellow the bitter tang felt so many times before.
The ache of longing is gone.
But the feeling of missing her remains.
Elaine.
My Elaine.
Single prong prediction wards.
Inaccurate. And only works once. Prone to producing multiple readings.
Double prong fear wards.
Can be mounted onto fabric both material and immaterial. Can be cantered forward and backwards on seperate prongs.
Great wards.
Painted in blood. Spans a city. Turns it into a red zone. But is cyclic and harmful to the owner. Prolonged use will burn.
Heat ward.
Irremovable. Flesh only mount.
Smoke ward.
Only to unknown flesh.
Eld ward.
Circular absorption and return of energy. Will fry conduits. Head only mount.
White ward.
No mount required. Burns with every err. Upon breaking rank consumes mount.
Magician’s ward.
Persistent energy feed both in and out forcing template.
Life’s truths.
To that.
If she’s nice….She’s an idiot.
If she’s smart…She’s annoying(bitch).
*mixes in hunting tools*
http://cereszone.blogspot.com/
…….
Idiot. Sigh.
Well the alternative was that if she was both nice and smart…She’d only date assholes.
But then again according to Xin Huei I’d have the advantage there…
But Bird says I still have the advantage cause idiots are soft targets…
She wants to touch you…?
She wants you to touch her.
Nay she had her chance.
But can’t you see it makes her sad?
I see your pain.
She’s alone in her world.
Yet so are you.
But I have endured.
……
…..
She deserves nothing I say surely. Because she doesn’t compare to History.
Be merciful. Do no harsh turns.
Harden the lines in your warding.
She deserves nothing.
She was…
Mean, manipulative and possibly malicious.
True dat.
But who are we to judge?
Certainly not God.
For all our powers held.
SHE DESERVES NOTHING
And I agree.
Yet everyone deserves love.
And we deserve nothing either.
But yet He gave it all for us. Before He even made us.
Be like Christ.
……
I choose to forgive.
But never forgive and forget.
I raise my bulwarks and parapets.
For I shall never do without my castle anymore.
And forever on my throne.
---------------------
And things disappear into the red and black.
The haze of rage.
|
|
|
|
If it we’re me I think I would’ve given in to her man. I’m impressed.
And yet I am ashamed cause it was anger that kept me pure.
Even God gets angry you know?
I think I’ve been angry far too long.
And in that case my purity and dedication to it should have sufficed.
………
Take me apart,
So I can put the pieces back together,
Realinging my wards,
So that they aim higher,
Pointing to the firmament of heaven,
So that I may no longer slither on Earth.
The new environment,
was chosen,
Because I was sure I had long gotten,
over her,
Yet learning,
By experiencing,
My own inability to resume mastery,
Of all pertaining,
Within,
&
Oustide
*
I feel small and defeated,
This is not what he wanted.
Talking to him.
And hearing the Wise speak.
Remind me,
Why I chose this path.
please…
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The next fight,
Begins soon.
1 for my soul.
1 for my song.
1 for my magic.
1 for my inheritance.
Another for my destiny.
without ever taking a breather,
fighting the fight for my life,
and my faith to carry on.
And if I lose,
I promise to go into exile,
from the world I know,
to where my end will be.
quietly gone,
to where
they
need
me.
Alone in exile.
